Being Together

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This was shared as a First Word at West Hills Friends church in Portland OR. A First Word is a time for members of the community to share how god is moving in their life. One of the core tenants of our Quaker faith and tradition is that god speaks to each person individually and it is our job to listen, quietly and collectively, so that we can hear. Sometimes we find that it takes a lot of work to hear and other times - and this was one of them - the message comes screaming in like a meteor. I wrote the core of this piece as a text one night, and it has not changed except in expanding it a little to provide context. Wisdom just blams into your mind sometimes and I am ever so grateful that it does  :)

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 I love modern communication technology. As an introvert who likes people, having a way to keep in touch with my friends while still laying in my bed is like manna from heaven. Texting is really my go-to communication method, it’s not that intrusive, it can be asynchronous but the device is with me everywhere. But as amazing as email, facebook and texting are for increasing communication and connectivity of ideas, those methods of engaging with others lack some important things. It turns out, sometimes being with people really is best.

I’ve missed church a bunch this last month because I was off doing things with friends new and old. Even when I’m not here I get the weekly update that lists all the things people shared during joys and concerns. On weeks when I am here that list of names and brief summaries of what they shared feels like a pleasant Monday reminder of what I heard. It reminds me to think of them, as Mike reminds us to do every week. But when I haven’t been in attendance it feels like a litany of pain... So and so is ill, somebody's niece or mom fell, someone is having a hard time at work or with their kids or someone else is remembering the death of a loved one or parents dying soon. It feels overwhelming when I haven’t been in the presence of the people sharing the pain.

I have been thinking a lot about this, the importance of actually being present with hard stuff. I think about it in terms of hard conversations or deep sharing with my friends. It’s so hard for me to comfort a friend going through a nasty break up in Alaska, but talking with another friend here in Portland about loss and fear in his life is easier because I can look at his face and touch his hand as he tells the story. Hard conversations with my sister go better when we aren’t trying to do it over text.  Even in my own mind, the practice of mindfulness meditation is allowing me to be more fully present in my body and more able to feel all the hard stuff and the good stuff without shutting down. The intimacy of being in the same room with people makes the overwhelming hurt of being human so much more bearable.
 

 

Ultimately, all of that is why we do community, right? Because we are stuck in these bodies that fail and these lives that crack apart, but we also get each other.  We do family and community because we can’t stop the crap from happening, but knowing people will listen to your story, think kindly of you, touch your hand or give you a hug and maybe bring you some food or send a card makes it bearable in the end. And we really just can’t do that through a device. I believe in the internet, I really do. I think it is changing the world for the better and will solve many problems, but it can’t replace intimate, physical community. Thank you for being my community and making it all a little more bearable. 

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For more writing I have shared with my Quaker community or about my Quaker spirituality, check out my Quaker tag!

The pictures I chose for this post are from Keith Haring. Check out his biography and work here.

Psalm 23, Dedicated to My Mother

Full Fasting Moon

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"When have you encountered the Light through music?" 

For the first time all day I was alone. Not really alone, nurses bustled about down the hall and the whole hospital building buzzed with the hushed vibrating energy that was still new and uneasy to me. My sister had just left and I knew her leaving came with both relief and worry for her. This hospital was hard for her, but she had been my rock for hours.

For the last time in a week I was all alone. The pain hadn't become tear wrenchingly unbearable yet. The nurses faces still shined with optimism and hope. But as I was left alone, alone for the first time all day, alone for the last time for a week, I cried. I was on the edge of a chasm though I couldn't see it at the time. All I knew was I was alone, ill and scared.

I found myself searching my mind and heart for something to comfort me. A fragment of a story, a glimpse of a melody. Where had I heard it before? I don't even know. But I found what I was looking for on YouTube (G(!)d(dess) bless the internet!) and listened to it all night.

The Lord is my Shepard, I have all I need,
She makes me lie down in green meadows,
Beside the still waters, She will lead.

She restores my soul, She rights my wrongs,
She leads me in a path of good things,
And fills my heart with songs.

Even though I walk, through a dark and dreary land,
There is nothing that can shake me,
She has said She won't forsake me,
I'm in her hand.

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The song is Psalm 23rd, Dedicated to My Mother written by Bobby McFerrin and performed by the choral group Cantus. I've never been much of a Bible reader and the imagery of god as a shepherd has never resonated with me. God as a tall, thin, bearded man with a white robe and a shepherd's crook reeks of watered down bible stories for children and patriarchy. C.S. Lewis reminds us, though, that we don't have to understand how something works to know that it does, whether that thing is a good meal or redemption in Christ. I don't know how these words, words that may or may not describe how I view the Divine, came to make themselves known to me that night. I certainly do not know how they soothed my very being in that dark and dreary land of the OHSU emergency room but I do know that they did.


This was written for my Quaker Meeting's collective journal, Minding the Light. Check the link for our web presence, and check out all my other posts labeled Minding the Light here. 

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Full Fasting Moon 2012: The Sap Moon

Full Fasting Moon 2011: Of Peacocks, Pride and Park Rangers

Full Fasting Moon 2010: I didn't post a Full Fasting Moon post in 2010, but Spring is Springing is a New Fasting Moon post for that spring.

Full Fasting Moon 2009: Full Moon in the Fasting Moon

Practicing Community

Mother's Moon

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This piece was written and presented as a "First Word" at my Quaker meeting. A First Word is a time to share with the community how god moves in your life so that we may more fully understand god's workings in the world. 

 

This is a topic I have been mulling over since at least last October (this post is what came out of those initial mullings) but between the time I agreed to give a First Word and the time I actually did get a chance to speak my life got turned pretty much on it's head. I contracted a serious bacterial infection in my ankle that landed me in the hospital for seven days, not walking for another week and still managing the physical and emotional recovery a month later. As I came through that trauma I realized I hadn't written out my thoughts and wondered if this was really what I wanted to speak about. I worried for a bit as I tried mightily to get thoughts to paper but then remembered - hey, I'm a Quaker. Words will come as words are meant to come. I got something down and trusted that the message that actually got shared would be the right message for the moment. 

What I present here is mostly "what I got down." I edited it lightly post ipso facto, but those of you who were in Meeting that morning will have to remember the sparkle as you saw it. 

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As much as we instant gratification, 21^st century technology natives hate to admit it, it turns out, you gotta practice to get good at something. I was on a kickball team last spring and we lost every game we played. We had fun, but no one got any better at kicking or catching because we never practiced. I failed calculus three times in college before I figured out that doing the homework was the way to go. It helped that that last teacher was easy on the eyes, but the real key to success was practicing the work every day. Anything we want to get better at requires practice, from Stephen King writing every morning to things like friendship and relationships. I watch kids practice relationship with every awkward embrace in a high school hallway and every timid “can I play?” at day camp. 

 

Edward Hick's Peaceable Kingdom

Here at West Hills we do a lot of practicing, too; practicing how to be a community. Living in community with other people is hard, way harder than kickball and so the practice is that much more intense. We practice living in community with each birthday song and potluck, every dinner group and play date. I see us practicing the harder work of being vulnerable with each sharing of genuine joy or deep scary concern and I see us practicing caring for each other with every word of support or note of condolence. As a Quaker community we have a whole special set of skills to practice, from listening inwardly and outwardly in Meetings for Worship to learning to see that of god in every person. We practice discernment together and practice waiting for ways to open to lead us to win-win-win solutions. These are important skills that, through developing and practicing here, we have the opportunity to share with other communities we belong to. 

 

All this practice has paid off in my life. In recent hard times I have felt both the comforting refuge of a caring community and applied skills practiced here to other communities I am a part of. When I was in those dark days of finishing a master’s in teaching program I felt the support coming from this community and wondered why my group of girlfriends wasn’t doing the same for me. When I realized that this community includes explicit times to share concerns and encourages each other explicitly to meet each other’s expressed needs I was able to help my friends know what I needed. They stepped up and we grew closer as a community.

 

Recent events have tested my ability to give and receive support from my community again. Being in the hospital was overwhelmingly difficult in many ways. I have gotten tangible, physical support from members of this community as well as a flood of prayers, well wishes and more cat videos than I can shake a stick at. More importantly, though, this community has been a place for me to practiced asking for and receiving and giving support of all kinds so that when I really needed it, I could figure out what to ask for and how to ask it.

 

West Hills Friends is a community of peacemakers

A trusting, genuine, loving community is a basic human need that is hard to come by in our time and place in history. Here at West Hills Friends we have a special jewel worth nurturing and learning from. We have done the practice, put in the work to develop a community that, through our trusting relationships with each other and with the Spirit, allows people to be vulnerable, ask for help, receive help and celebrate joys. We have fun with each other, we do hard work together and we take care of each other. It is a safe and caring refuge for each of us in a world that can be scary, painful or cold. But it is also a training field for us to learn and practice skills we can bring to our other communities, our families, our work places, our other groups of friends. Learning to listen, to wait, to explicitly ask for help and cheerfully give what help we can, to subvert the power hierarchies of the culture by valuing people and relationships. These skills that we practice here at West Hills can be applied in all aspects of our lives. 

 

We have a lot to offer the world here, and the only way to get good enough to get noticed is to keep practicing. 

 

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Note: The topic of this post does not have much to do with the Mother's Moon. It's really much more a Journey Moon or a Father's Moon topic. But the fact of the matter is it got written and spoken during the Mother's Moon so that's where it falls in the blog. Things are getting a bit wacky around here. To understand the Mother's Moon energies, check out past posts, please.

Mother's Moon 2012: Nothing but Good Can Come of This 

Mother's Moon 2011: Freedom, July and Krishna and the Gopis

Mother's Moon 2010: You Are the Mother's Beloved Child and Motherlove and Caring for the Environment

Mother's Moon 2009: Gifts from the Mother

 

Hedonism and Big Juicy Good

New Journey Moon

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God
and I have become
like two giant fat people living
in a tiny
boat.

We
keep bumping into
each other
and laughing
-Hafiz

I joke that I gave up vegetarianism after college to become a hedonist. Little did I know how fruitful of a spiritual path hedonism could actually become. Over the last year or so I have allowed myself to indulge in all manner of earthly pleasures gastronomic, aesthetic, carnal and ecological. To my surprise and delight, I have found that these joys are not a diversion from spiritual pursuits but have been a yellow brick road leading directly to the Divine Wow.

Ascetic traditions ask followers to rise above the sea of emotion and physical sensation that are a leading cause of suffering. “Suffering rises from attachment to impermanent things,” the Buddha says. Monks and seekers from traditions Eastern and Western have been encouraged to abstain from certain foods, intoxicating beverages, the entanglements of romantic relationships and even the sensual pleasures of art and music for fear that they will dull or distract the soul from its journey towards God With a Capital G. In my experience, the unencumbered mind can soar to intellectual heights in this kind of pursuit. But there’s not much laughing there. Or ice cream. Or roasted duck, champagne cocktails and two hour make out sessions. And honestly, who wants to live in a world or go to a heaven without those thing? 

Indeed, those things have not stopped or distracted me from my connection with The Eternal Bliss. As my focus shifted a few chakras down over the last year the realizations are no less real or even less abundant, they are just of a different kind. Just the other night, while lounging contentedly, I said to the gentleman sharing my bed, “The Buddhists say Namaste – the divine in me greets the divine in you. Right now I wish there were a word for ‘the loving in me greets the lover in you.’” But there are no words for that kind of thing, just a squeeze, a kiss, a smile and knowing that this is All Good. My experience mirrors that of the Sufi understanding that all love, all pleasure, is a practice run for the love and pleasure we find with God. 

The renunciate’s ideal of detachment offers one path to the Kingdom of Heaven where we hurt no more. Radically deep connection is another way. In nature there is individual tragedy – the mouse must die for the owl to survive – but the web of connection keeps the mouse, the owl, the Fir tree, the fungus and everything else in Harmony. Rather than floating above the waves of emotions and physical sensation that are the root of hurt, this body and connection based search for That Which Is Wonder, invites me to dive into the ocean of life. There is pain and grief there; water up your nose and sand in your shorts. Feeling certainly causes a lot more tears than thinking, but that can’t get in the way of experiencing Big Juicy Good. “I don’t want to hurt you,” he said to me once. “Well, there’s heartbreak at the end of this no matter what,” I replied, “’tis the human condition. Let’s not be afraid of that, ok?” The only way to feel ocean currents on your skin, to feel your heart ready to burst at the beauty of an azalea bush the size of your bedroom, or to experience the pleasure of a salumi plate and a crisp pinot gris on a warm spring evening is to dive in rather than float above. At least get in the boat with us  :)

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Yes, it has been a long time since I've posted. My life has been very full of doing and not so full of writing. But I try. And so here is a piece I wrote recently that shares a little of what my life is like these days. Hope you enjoy it, but more than that, I hope you are enjoying your own journey.   

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New Journey Moon 2011: Perseus and the Journey Moon

New Journey Moon 2010: Journey Moon is New

New Journey Moon 2009: Journey Moon

I Make Bad Decisions

New Sorting Moon

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Oswald West State Park by Tapestry Dude

At the beginning of each week at camp we have a staff meeting where everyone does a body, mind and spirit check in. We get to report on how we are doing in the different aspects of our lives, and how we are feeling about the upcoming week. It is a fun and meaningful way to debrief from our weekend away, keep in touch with each other and share the things about our lives that are so important to share when living and working together so closely. Often people say things like "I had a great weekend, I got so much sleep" or "I had fun on the beach/in town/reading". Not me, though. It has become a bit of a running joke that I start my check in with a "I made a lot of bad decisions this weekend." We all laugh, I tell my tale and we move on with our morning.

Over the years I have learned that when a phrase comes to me often in a period of time it is probably important. Yes, "I make bad decisions" is a joke, but the fact that it keeps coming up means I should probably examine the sentiment a bit more closely. This week is the start of the Sorting Moon, the last month in Annette Hinshaw's calendar. It is the end of the cycle and the time to look at what we have done, make choices about what to keep and what to let go of, and get ready for the beginning of the next cycle. As I read through the Sorting Moon chapter in Earth Time, Moon Time I noticed that she talks a lot about decision making style during that chapter. Ultimately, the Sorting Moon is asking us to look at not just what we are making decisions about, but about how we make those decisions at all.

About the Trees by Dead Air

My work schedule is grueling these days and my weekends are short. In my 24 or 48 hours off I have to fit in seeing my friends, walking my dog, doing my laundry and taking care of my self care needs for sleep, alone time and reflection. There is literally no time during the week for any of these activities. The "bad decisions" keep coming in the form of choosing the seeing friends portion of the to-do list over the self care portion of the list, and that usually involves alcohol, late nights and other debauchery. When you add in the 2 hour drive from camp to town, that has turned into short nights and busy days when my body and spirit really need the rest. That being said, I don't regret the time spent with my friends or the fun we've had. Last weekend I went to a rock n' roll show, ate amazing Egyptian food at a late night cart and laughed with friends new and old. These memories are the mortar that holds the bricks of friendship together, and as I am spending so much energy here at camp I realize just how important having those strong friendships is to me.

Incoming Surfy by surfonaut

So maybe I'm not making bad decisions. I'm just making a decision. I am valuing my friendships and the (admittedly debaucherous) fun we have over self care. I am quite confident that these decisions will have impacts on my future choices and maybe even my future abilities or health - you can only burn the candle at both ends for so long. But what decisions don't? One of Annette Hinshaw's questions for consideration during the Sorting Moon is "what decision do you feel was most important in getting you where you are today?" I suspect it is rarely a lack of options that makes that question so thought provoking. Every decision we make puts us on the path that leads us to the current moment and into one of an infinite number of futures. I think, like is the case with so many things in life, it is not what you actually do but how you do it that is most important. How am I going about making these decisions? Maybe I'm just justifying gut level decisions, but I think I'm doing some thinking, too. 

As the autumn season builds to a crescendo here in Western Oregon the days are getting wet and dark. We begin to honor the seasonal impetus to turn inwards and to reflect on our choices. What have we done this year we like? What decisions do we regret? Were we able to gather the resources, physical and emotional, necessary for the coming winter? When have you made bad decisions, and how did that turn out for you? What process do you like for making decisions? What does deep autumn look like where you are?

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New Sorting Moon 2011: Sorting it All Out 

New Sorting Moon 2010: Useful, Beautiful or Loved

New Sorting Moon 2009: New Sorting Moon

Portland Boys

August Eve

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Some people spend weeks preparing elaborate rituals to celebrate the sabbats, complete with memorized scripts, special clothes and props. I am not one of those people. As with my summer solstice "ritual", I didn't really know I was celebrating August first until I was up to my eyeballs in it. It turned out exactly perfect, though. It always does.

The first day of August is the date often given for Lughhnasadh or Lammas, the cross quarter day marking the end of summer and the first harvest. On that morning I posted a John Payne poem on Facebook, one of his series of month poems that I love so much because they seem to just perfectly reflect the way I feel about a given season. "And the sun blazing in the blue o'erhead, "Would God that it were night!" is apt to say And "Would the summer-heats were oversped!""

As I've told you, summer is a strung out, crazy time for me, and posting that poem was about all I could put together in terms of "celebrating" the festival. I can hardly get it together to clean the bathroom after a day of work and play, let alone plan or execute an extra celebration. And anyway, I was getting ready to go to a Timbers's game that weekend.

Portland boys, we are here – Whoa, Whoa
Portland boys, we are here – Whoa, Whoa
Portland boys, we are here
Steal your women, drink your beer!
Whoa, Whoa, Whoa

Timbers Joey! I'm leaning over the railing just out of frame to the right.

The Portland Timbers are the city's Major League Soccer team and are kind of a big deal around here. Years ago, when the Timbers were a little known, minor league team, a group of fans formed themselves into a supporters group that came to be known as the Timbers Army. Wikipedia claims it all started with 8 guys in 2001, but today the Army claims eight SECTIONS of the soccer stadium. Timbers tshirts, jerseys, hats, bumper stickers and other swag are de rigur for a certain type of Portlander and the waiting list for Timbers Army season tickets makes them coveted status markers in this town. The games themselves include loud and constant chanting, scarf waving, drums and trumpets, and other hooligan-esque characteristics of soccer supporters around the world.  

Burn, destroy, wreck and kill – Whoa, Whoa
Burn, destroy, wreck and kill – Whoa, Whoa
Burn, destroy, wreck and kill
Portland Timbers bloody will!
Whoa, Whoa, Whoa

I personally am not much of a sports fan so have not really followed this aspect of my city's culture over the last few years, but lately I've been more and more aware of the Timbers situation. My dad got a job working at the stadium a couple years ago, and lately I have made a number of friends who are Timbers Army fanatics. I have been thinking of trying to go to a game but without connections you have to pay through the nose for a seat not in the Army. What's the point of that? Finally, though, one of my friends got me a ticket for a game.

August Eve is the time in the wheel of the year when we celebrate All that is Manly and Good in the World. It is a time for competition and feats of physicality that show off strength, daring and skill. It is a time for celebrating the "bright, positive, masculine principle". I have been surrounded by young boys this summer at my work and see first hand how deeply ingrained being loud and physical, shooting and clashing is in them. In our feminist influenced culture of child rearing, we tend to want boys to be quieter, gentler and more in control of their bodies but without letting them experience their physicality, they will never be in control of it. And male physical power and testosterone driven competition are necessary elements in this world. Fatherlove and warrior power do not solve all problems, but we have enough problems in this world that we need all the tools in our toolbox. Including those brought by little boys who build forts, pretend sticks are guns and punch each other when they are frustrated.

Timbers Army! I'm visible on the lower left.

An afternoon in the Timbers Army is a full sensory immersion in the world of All That is Manly and Good in the World. Yes, there are many women in the Timbers Army, but the whole thing is so testosterone driven as to be essentially male in essence. The day was one of the hottest days of the summer so far, and the Army section is on the north, very sunny, part of the stadium. After a trek to get to the field, we proceeded to chant and cheer for two hours straight. It was a good game in a terrible season and the Portland Boys came back from behind to a draw. A highlight was the goal that tied the game up in the second half, complete with dark green smoke bombs and a crowd gone completely batty. I'm a tourist in the Army, here for the atmosphere and the fun, not the game or the players, but I couldn't help but being on the edge of my seat (er, leaning over the railing.. no one sits in the Army) when the play moved closer to the goal and the ball went zipping back and forth. Those men are strong and fast and skilled, Manly and Good. 

We are green, we are white – Whoa, Whoa
We are green, we are white – Whoa, Whoa
We are green, we are white
We are bloody dynamite!
Whoa, Whoa, Whoa

The evening ended, as all good evenings do, with a party and a trek. After playing some bar basketball and drinking some more cheap beer my friend and I set off back across town. The day had topped out at 95 degrees, the first day to get so hot all summer, and evening was coming on. It was still warm, but lovely as we wove our way through downtown towards the river. We splashed through Salmon Street Springs, lingered on the Hawthorne Bridge and stopped at a food cart for late night poutine and people watching. By the time we got home, we were sweaty, beat up and physically and emotionally exhausted. Just as you should be at the end of a good festival, right? 

In the week since my Timbers Army Experience I have been enjoying noticing the subtle turning of the season into autumn. The days are getting shorter, the sun is lower in the sky and more leaves are tinged gold or russet. The harvest is in full swing with markets full of berries and tomatoes. And the Timbers fight on, maybe they'll win a game or two before the end of the season. Even if they don't, though, they will have fought the good fight and that's what All that is Manly and Good in the World is really all about. 

We’ll sing for you Timbers
‘Til you finish the fight
There’s a party in Portland
No one’s sleeping tonight

How did you celebrate the August festival? How are you celebrating the masculine principle in your life and the world around you? Have you ever been a rabid supporter of a sports team or known people who were? How are you celebrating the first harvest in your life? 

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August Eve 2011: An August Journey

August Eve 2010: August Eve, The Subtle Turning

August Eve 2009: August Eve In the Woods!

A Playlist for the Journey Moon

New Journey Moon 

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It is the Journey Moon, the time when summer is here and living is easy. People set out to seek their fortune in the world and have adventures. That is very much what the Journey Moon is like for me this year, and I need some good traveling music. Luckily, I was given an iPod touch for my birthday last year and have been making great use of it. 

Last winter I mostly listened to podcasts like On Being, Radio Lab and Snap Judgement. I find the stories told in these kinds of programs to be amazingly inspiring and I learn something new every time I listen. This spring, however, I noticed a shift in my habits. All of a sudden I was listening to music again. Being the analytical girl I am, I of course have some theories about why this might be. It has been an amazing emotional journey lately, and I really felt my focus shifting down a few chakras as the days got longer this spring. On days when I am feeling comfortable in my emotions, or enjoying manipulating them I listen to music. Other days I want to retreat back to the cool comfort of my intellect and I queue up Jad and Robert over at Radio Lab. It has been an interesting journey into previously uncharted territory this spring. And it has had an awesome soundtrack.

Here is the final version of my epic Grabbing the Tiger By the Tail 2012 Mix. I've provided links to videos for the songs wherever I can and if you need more information about any of them, let me know. Allons-y!

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• I Won't Back Down - Johnny Cash 

      A solid pump me up, Grab the Tiger By the Tail kinda song sung by a solid, Grab the Tiger by the Tail kinda guy. "Well I know what's right. I've got just one life in a world that keeps on pushing me aroud but I'll stand my ground. I won't back down."

• Human Touch - Bruce Springsteen

     "So you've been broken and youve been hurt, Show me somebody who ain't. eah, I know I ain't nobodys bargain, but, hell, a little touch up and a little paint... I just want something to hold on to.

And a little of that human touch." Bruce explains it all, again.

• Faster Horses (The Cowboy and the Poet) - Tom T. Hall

     What's important in life? Faster horses, younger women, older whiskey and more money. Don't believe me? Ask Tom T. Hall. 

• St Elmo's Fire (Man in Motion) - John Parr

     Every mix needs a 1980s power theme, right? Well, here's this one. "I can climb the highest mountain, cross the wildest sea, I can feel St. Elmo's Fire burnin' in me." Also, 21 year old Rob Lowe with this hair cut. Yes please.

• What would Brain Boitano Do - Southpark Soundtrack

     A question to ask in every situation. The answer will always be helpful. (Note: the video link above is from the Southpark movie and so is not entirely safe for work, small children or your grandmother. Unless you're grandmother is really, really cool.) And for some totally gratuitous fandom, check out this video of this song, with a Doctor Who video montage. Be still my beating heart. 

• If I had a Million Dollars - Bare Naked Ladies

    It was sweet in 1992 and it is sweet in 2012. Haven't you always wanted a monkey? 

• Birdhouse in your Soul - They Might Be Giants

     In the mid 1980s They Might Be Giants began recording songs, fake advertisements and other bits of joy onto an answering machine cassette and publishing the number in local New York papers like the Village Voice. By 2008 they had recorded over 500 distinct songs for what they called Dial-a-Song and have become kind of a big deal, if I do say so myself. "Not to put to fine a point on it, say I'm the only bee in your bonnet. Make a little birdhouse in your soul."

• Hakuna Matata- The Lion King Soundtrack

     "Hakuna matata, what a wonderful phrase. Hakuna matata, ain't no passing craze. It means no worries for the rest of our days!"  Actually inserted right here on the play list is Tenacious D's F&#k her Gently. It is not safe for work, children, grandmothers or most people with a sense of decency. But it's on my playlist and you might think it's funny. 

• Bad Romance - Lady Gaga

     Another one I love to sing along to very loudly. "I want your love and I want your revenge. I want you love, I don't want to be friends." The link above is to the Oregon State men's acapella group singing the song, but if you haven't seen the original video, go here.

• Nowhere Fast - Fire, Inc.

     The 1984 cult classic "rock n roll fable" movie Streets of Fire is like a strange ghost from my childhood. For years I wasn't sure if it was a figment of my imagination, but the soundtrack was there in my dad's cassette tape collection. This one, produced by the same guy who produced Meat Loaf's 1992 Bat Out of Hell II album, is one of the greatest rock n roll songs ever written. "Everybody's going nowhere slowly, they're only fighting for the chance to be last. There's nothing wrong with going nowhere baby. But we should be going nowhere fast."

• I Want it All or Nothing at All - Bruce Springsteen

    Bruce Springsteen lays it out in black and white. Thanks, Bruce. Also, imagine what trouble the guy who shot this video went though to get this footage in 1992. Thanks, man.  

• What Makes you Beautiful - One Direction

     Boy bands are great summer fare, right? This is my Driving to Meet a First Date, Pump Me Up For Anything song right now. For the proper experience, sing this at full volume with all your windows down while driving through a really hipstery neighborhood. Then listen to the song a second time. That's the way I do it these days. You might appreciate this amazing parody. I do. 

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 What music have you been listening to? Do you make mixes or playlists? What are important elements for you in a good mix? What journeys are you undertaking this summer? 

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New Journey Moon 2011: Perseus and the Journey Moon

New Journey Moon 2010: Journey Moon is New

New Journey Moon 2009: Journey Moon - it's always interesting to look back and see synchronicity between the years in a given season. The anxiety and restlessness I describe in this post feels very current, though our weather is much better this year  :)

Happy Hours and Pirate Queens

The Full Mating Moon

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The Mating Moon is here! The spring of the year is in full swing and every living thing out there is rocking and rolling, making the most of the longer days and fairer weather.

Danny Perez Photography

In Annette Hinshaw's calendar, the Mating Moon reminds us not just of physical mating, the coming together of two bodies to create a new life, but the intellectual bringing together of ideas that is so essentially human. This spring I have been so very busy, but out of that activity has come a flowering of realizations about my life, physical, emotional and spiritual. The Mating Moon is doing it's work!

As this crazy month has rolled through I have been doing something I've never done before - dating. I have been active on an online site popular here in Portland have met a bunch of people for drinks, meals, conversations and whatever else might come up. What a strange ritual we go through in this culture! I have stories of boring dates and brilliant dates, but among all of that I have been able to do so much thinking about myself through my conversations with these other people. Every time I meet someone new I have to retell my own story and get to hear their story and that exchange is amazingly fruitful. It has been fun to come away from each new encounter with a new person knowing something a little more about myself, what I like, what I know, what I am good at and bad at. I know more about myself, my life and my world because I have been rubbing up against others who know different things, and that is the main point the Mating Moon is trying to make.

Danny Perez Photography

It's been an interesting ride this last month, being pulled into a very physical and emotional state rather than the intellectual and spiritually focused state I feel I've been in for the last few months or even years. I have had some interesting epiphanies and realizations, mostly along the lines of encouraging me to keep going and exploring. One morning I woke up seeing a giant, flashing neon sign in my minds eye saying YES. Yes, what? I sensibly asked. My response was simply more yes. I laughed and said, sure, whatever. Yes! Bring it on, bring it all in and on and on! Shortly after that, though, I was faced with one of the perils of "mating", or of bringing Other into Self; the risk that you might lose track of who Self is. As I wrestled with this, Havi Brook's image of sovereignty, the Pirate Queen, came to me. It was such a pleasure to see her and be reminded that though I can reach out and say yes to every thing that comes my way, I am expected to stay strong and centered in my own awesomeness, too. A Pirate Queen is not going to send an "I miss you" text at midnight on a Tuesday, is she now? :)

Lilacs and tulips, horse chestnuts, snails, salamanders and bumble bees. The whole world is out and buzzing around. Saying yes and enjoying what this glorious spring time world has to offer. And I'm right there with them.

How are you feeling the energies of the Mating Moon? Did you get out to see the Super Moon or have you been observing more terrestrial miracles like blooming flowers and leafing trees? What encounters with Other are making you smarter, happier and wiser?

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Full Mating Moon 2011: The Green Month

Full Mating Moon 2010: Mercurial

Full Mating Moon 2009: The Flower Moon

Quickened with the Force of Love

Spring Equinox

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Happy Spring! I woke up this morning to an inch and a half of snow so it doesn't feel much like spring, but the days are getting longer and longer so it must be. In fact, the fruit trees are flowering like crazy and the wet snow last night caused a very pretty plum tree to fall across my apartment's driveway and a quite large alder fall in my dog walking park. When spring is defined as the season of growth

Waterfront Blossoms by Nick Nada

it doesn't matter what the weather is, those plum blossoms, the daffodils below them and the 7pm sunset are telling us that spring has sprung!

These last two days I have been listening to the wonderful interview Krista Tippet did with Iranian-American scholar and professor Fatemeh Keshavarz about the poetry of Rumi, the 13th century Persian sufi writer. It has been a wonderful way to celebrate the growing spring, even as I drive around in the rain and snow.

Come to the orchard in Spring.
There is light and wine, and sweethearts
            in the pomegranate flowers.

If you do not come, these do not matter.
If you do come, these do not matter.

From A Great Wagon

Rudolph Steiner wrote that the earth, like all sentient beings, has a soul and goes through cycles of inbreaths and outbreaths. He saw the summer as the peak of the earth's outbreath, when the soul of the planet is in communion with the cosmos. The winter, then is the peak of the earth's inbreath when the soul is completely within its own rocky body. Spring is the time of the outbreath, the release after a long winter and the time when the solid physical-ness of winter meets with the active ethereal-ness of summer. At the spring equinox these energies are balanced, the bodies of plants, animals and even people if they are in tune, move and spin in growth while still being well contained by their physicality. 

Kids Playing by YoAndMi

Rumi's poetry balances on and bridges the border between physicality and transcendent, as well. Many of is poems seem erotic, describing a beloved's body, scent or countenance. Like all the best poetry it is unclear who exactly the beloved being spoken of is, god or an earthly lover?  Keshavarz says that to Rumi these two kinds of loves, and all the other kinds of loves we experience, are places along the continuum of human experience. The goal, she says, is to purify the soul but that the rest of the human experience is not base or sinful. "Love, whether of this kind or that kind ultimately leads you to the same king," writes Rumi. We are here in a physical body so that it can help us along our path. Keshavarz quotes a famous Sufi tale in which a young man approaches a master over and over asking for teaching. The master refuses to teach the young man, asking "Have you ever fallen in love with a woman?" "No", the young man replies, "I am just 18 years old." The master answers simply, "Well, go try that first." The physical world is a tool of the soul on it's journey, a very important tool.

The world is a mountain
Whatever you say, good or bad, it will echo it back to you
Don't say I sang nicely and mountain echoed an ugly voice…
That is not possible

The human intellect is a place where hesitation and uncertainty take root
There is no way to overcome this hesitation…except by falling in love

To reach the sea and be happy with a jug water is a waste
The sea that has pearls…
And a hundred thousand other precious things.

On the World, translated by Fatemeh Keshavarz

Waterfall by rknickme

I know this, too, that our bodies and physicality are vital tools on our journeys as spiritual beings. And in the spring of the year it is time to relish in that physicality. Trees are bursting into blossom delighting our eyes, the wind carries scents in a way it hasn't in months delighting our noses and the sun shines in a way that delights our skin. Let us delight in all the other ways we can be in and of this muddy, rainy, snowy, deliciously beautiful place we call Earth. Let us be whirling dervishes like Rumi's followers - centered while moving, quickened with the force of love.

What does spring look like where you are? Flowers and sun or snow and mud? Have you ever read or heard any Rumi poems before? Which are your favorites? How do you celebrate the physicality of life? How do you stay centered while moving?

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Be sure to check out Krista Tippet's On Being for downloads of the radio interview, transcripts, recordings of the poems I quoted and more plus photos, reflections and so much more. And subscribe to On Being so we can talk about all the shows! Also, check out some other poems that I decided not to include, but are are too good to go without a mention. Rainer Maria Wilke's Widening Circles read by Joanna Macy on an older episode of On Being, and Robert Frost's A Prayer in Spring. It's almost National Poetry month, aren't you excited!

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Spring Equinox

Spring Equinox 2009: Spring Equinox

Spring Equinox 2010: Giving Thanks at the Equinox and Easter

Spring Equinox 2011: Spring Equinox (apparently I'm a creative namer of spring equinox posts...)