Engaging My Superpowers, Calling my Allies

Full Birth Moon

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Welcome to 2013! I hope your 2012 wrapped up with joy, fun and enough time in the dark to be ready for the growing light. I was happy to get a couple days of work at the Nature Park over winter break, which is always fun and fulfilling as well as an adventure. Two of the days over break were snowshoe adventures on Mt. Hood that were sublime and painful in all the ways taking kids into the woods can be.

Like last year, I spent much of the time between Christmas and New Year's Day reflecting on last year and looking forward to this upcoming one. My theme for 2012 was Grabbing the Tiger by the Tail and one of the biggest lesson I learned is to be careful what I wish for, I just might get it. As I reread my New Year's post from last year I chuckled. Yep, pulled all of that into my life, didn't I? The 2012 Tiger roared into my life and chased me round and round all year. I think I came out on top and have some awesome stories to tell from the year,  like this one, and this one... and OMG this one. It was a crazy year, one of outward focus, of splendiferous adventures and of saying yes, just like I said I wanted. By the time this autumn was coming to a close I felt ragged and overused, but also like I had learned many lessons along with those great stories. 

I employed many of my traditional gwishing techniques these last few weeks to help cast my magic spell for 2013. I have heard many people compliment me recently on things both mundane and sublime and that started my thought process in the direction of looking at my gifts. I'm good at many things, and have much to offer the world but a year of chasing a tiger around didn't get me very far in using many of them. A peek into the Sabian Symbols brought me the images of crowds coming down the mountain to listen to one inspired man and of a group of people entering a large canoe for a journey. Taking what I have learned and sharing it with others, bringing it into the physical, daily realm. Joining with others on a journey of discovery and action. A tarot spread with my Fairy Tale Tarot deck brought me the Seeker/Knight of Wands as the symbol for the whole year. Traditionally the Knight of Wands is a fair haired youth full of inspiration and action, kind of an act first, think later kind of guy. Ambition and desire to do good in the world are his driving motivations. In my fairy tale deck this card is 

Peacock by Today is a good day

Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz, a character who moves forward towards her destiny and her adventure despite challenges that plague her. Sounds like a theme for the year is shaping up!

2013 will be:

• Peacock blue, vibrant green and shimmering purple. Or a super suit and cape in bright, primary colors.
• It will sound like footsteps on gravel, like a pen scratching on paper and the chatter and clinks of a happy dinner party. 
• It will smell like sweat and leather and dusty horse after a hard day's riding, freshly tilled still cold earth in the spring and a roast beast dinner that took hours to prepare for my friends and family.
• It will include Bruce reminding me that I deserve to work for and have it all or nothing at all, the Lone Ranger reminding me that "God put the firewood there, but every man must gather it and light it himself", and The Doctor reminding me that I'm bigger on the inside.

I will remember that a goal without a plan is just a wish. That I am too good for half assed. That other people can be my allies on this trip, but they have their own stories and are not just my "sidekick". 

Last year, 2012, was all about gathering experience. I said yes to everything and I think it changed me. It made me less scared of some things and certainly gained me lots of experience doing lots of other things. The theme for 2013 is shaping up to be about discernment, about engagement and about connection. It is 

not enough to do stuff, it has to be the right stuff. When taking a journey in a canoe or to Oz you need to have the right companions and the right supplies, not just any companions and supplies. The people I gather for my companions are the heroes in their own stories and their time spent with me should be as helpful to them as it is to helpful to me to have them. I think the theme of companions, allies and community will come to be an important one for me. I've been thinking about this a lot over the last year or more and it is time to put some concerted effort into building my community into the community I really want. I know a lot, I'm good at a lot, it's time to step up to the plate and do the work requires to reap that harvest, rather than just letting the fruit fall as it may. 

I don't know what this year will bring, but it will be hard work and good work if I play my cards right. If I Engage My Super Powers and Call My Allies.

How have you gwished, set intentions or discovered themes for your upcoming year? What do you need to work on as 2013 rolls through the door and sets up shop? What are your superpowers and who are your allies?  

Happy New Year!

SCORPIO 24
CROWDS COMING DOWN THE MOUNTAIN TO LISTEN TO ONE INSPIRED MAN

You may feel that you have had some wonderful realisations after hearing an inspired message and now you need to bring these understandings down and integrate them into everyday life. People will have many different responses to the messages being given. Not all will be responsive, but the message will resonate with some. What will be done with this new information?

Power to sway the feelings and thoughts of many. Having a large audience. Holding the floor.

The Caution: Naivete, gullibility Feeling like someone else holds all the answers. Wanting everyone to listen regardless of their needs.

CAPRICORN 4
A GROUP OF PEOPLE ENTERING A LARGE CANOE FOR A JOURNEY BY WATER

To embark on a journey with a number of people is to embark on an emotional discovery. With cooperation, there can be great success. You may also find this to be a time when different and separate aspects of your personality come together to explore an emotional situation.

Cooperation. People coming together with a shared goal in sight. Feeling like you're on a journey of destiny. Travelling or living together.

The Caution: Uncoordinated energies. Not wanting to go along with anybody.

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Full Birth Moon 2008: Outer Darkness and Inner Hope

Full Birth Moon 2009: New Year! and A Story for the Birth Moon 

Full Birth Moon 2010: The Dark of the Dark.

Full Birth Moon 2011: The Columber and Grabbing the Tiger by the Tail 

The PB&J Mix

New Birth Moon

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I'm incubating. The new year is coming, my new plan, my new gwish. It is dark, it is wet and I'm not doing too much but thinking. And listening to music. 

"Now, the making of a good compilation tape is a very subtle art. Many do's and don'ts. First of all you're using someone else's poetry to express how you feel. This is a delicate thing."

Here's my Winter PB & J  mix tape. That stands for power, beauty and joy... or peanut butter and jelly. Both make me smile.  Enjoy!

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• We are Star Dust - Symphony of Science

I recently discovered this amazing musician, John D Boswell, who is using auto tune software to turn spoken audio clips into songs. He takes the words of well known scientists like Carl Sagan, Neil deGrasse Tyson, Stephen Hawkings and David Attenborough and sets them to music creating inspirational and beautiful music. This one is possibly my favorite, featuring Neil deGrasse Tyson reminding us that "we are part of this universe, we are in this universe, the universe is in us."

• Happytown (All Right With Me) - Dave Carter and Tracy Grammer

Before he died in 2002 Dave Carter collaborated with Tracy Grammer to produce three albums of folk singer songwriter music that are often called Buddhist Cowboy music. His mystical experiences and study of psychology, myth and mysticism show clearly in his music. I heard it said that no one could fit more words into a song than Dave Carter and this song is an excellent example of all of that. "I walk the occam razor way through priests and circus clowns. Am I a missoner of faith or grace or vision or another grinning prisoner of Happytown?"

• Happy Little Clouds - Remixes for the Soul 

The guy who did Symphony of Science has turned his talents to turning other celebrities to rock stars with his Remixes for the Soul compilation. This one stars Bob Ross from the PBS show Joy of Painting and makes my heart sing. Anyone who has ever watched an episode of the show has seen just how full of love and encouragment Bob Ross is and how it radiates through the TV screen right at you. It feels like spending an hour with a beatific nun or the Dalai Lama, only with painting instead. "You can almost paint with anything, all you have to do is practice. There are no limits here, start out by believing here." Thanks Bob Ross, I will believe! 

• Gentle Arms of Eden - Dave Carter and Tracy Grammer

The first time I heard this song was at Winterfest, a folk benefit for Sisters of the Road Cafe, in maybe 2001 or 2002. I cried as Dave and Tracy performed it on stage at the Aladdin. It has remained an important song ever since... "On a sleepy endless ocean when the world lay in a dream, There was rhythm in the splash and roll, but not a voice to sing. So the moon shone on the breakers and the morning warmed the waves, till a single cell did jump and hum for joy as though to say...  This is my home! This is my only home. This is the only sacred ground that I have ever known. Should I stray in th dark night alone Rock me goddess in the gentle arms of Eden.

• We are All Connected - Symphony of Science

Featuring Richard Feynman on the bongos, Bill Nye thinking about the vast emptiness of space, Carl Sagan waxing poetic about star stuff and Neil deGrasse Tyson's statement that "we are all connected; To each other, biologically, to the earth, chemically. To the rest of the universe atomically." One of the most popular Symphony of Science videos for a reason. 

• Shelter from the Storm - Bob Dylan

The apartment I lived in for three years in college was called Shelter from the Storm. "Not a word was spoke between us there was little risk involved, everything up to that point had been left unresolved. Try imagining a place where it's always safe and warm, "Come in" she said "I'll give you shelter from the storm" The link above is to the album version that I love most, but this live performance is amazing. Harder, harsher, but Dylan at his best.

• Peace Train - Dolly Parton and Ladysmith Black Mambazo

I first knew Ladysmith Black Mambazo from their work with Paul Simon on Graceland. This version of Cat Stevens' song combines their haunting harmonic style with Dolly's clear voice and makes me just wanna get on that train. Check out Ladysmith Black Mambazo's Amazing Grace.

• Onward to the Edge - Symphony of Science 

Possibly my very favorite of the Symphony of Science tracks. "There is a powerful recognition that stirs within us, when we see our own little blue ocean planet in the skies of other worlds... onward to the edge, we're moving onward to the edge. Here we are together on this fragile little world."

• Road Goes on Forever - Joe Ely

A truly pronoic tale of adventure, trial and redemption. The road goes on forever, and the party never ends. I like the Joe Ely version above best, but here's another one with Joe featuring Joel Guzman (who makes the accoridan seem like the sexiest instrument ever), here's one by Robert Earl Keen - the guy who wrote the song, and here's the Highwaymen's version (ya know, Johnny Cash, Willie Nelson, Kris Kristofferson, Waylon Jennings, et al). It's a good song.

• Mud on the Tires - Brad Paisley

A truly unironic celebration of the simple pleasures in life - a new truck, the moon and stars, a campfire and a pretty lady. It makes me smile. 

• Mysterious Ways - U2

When I was in high school I was bona fide obsessed with U2. I listened to the Achtung Baby cassette tape on my Walkman on the bus to school, during passing periods, spent the afternoon watching the concert footage on VHS tape and fell asleep listening to the tape again. Some U2 songs send me into that weird place you find yourself when you look at your high school year book, awkward and embarrassed and emotional. This song, though, has stood the test of time and is still in regular rotation.  

• Don't Stop Believin' - Journey

When this came on at the bar the other night, my friend said "I feel like I only hear this song at Goodwill." I said, he isn't living life right then. "Some will win, some will lose. Some were born to sing the blues. Oh, the movie never ends it goes on and on and on and on..... don't stop believing. HOLD ON TO THAT FIEEELLAAAYING!"

• My City of Ruins - Bruce Springsteen  

I think it is curious that I chose to end my PB and J mix with such an intense song. It is sad, yes, but not dark. It brings tears to my eyes, but not always tears of grief. In August of 2003 I watched a full moon ruse over the Oakland Hills as Bruce entreated us to rise up. In November of that same year I visited St. Paul's Chapel in lower Manhattan and cried as the words ran through my head... my city of ruins. I sang this song to my puppy years later, the emotions still fresh but her wagging tail and excited cuddling adding a new layer of association. And of course, any Bruce is all mixed up with my dad, an "it's complicated" relationship if there ever was one. But the take home message is not one of sadness, it is the pronoic belief that every experience allows you to grow, even the painful, terrible and horrific ones. "With these hands, lord, with these hands, I pray for the strength... I pray for your love, lord, with these hands."

What are you listening to in this dark time of the year? What plans are you making, what are you incubating? What PB&J is rocking your world? The photos are images from the Hubble Telescope turned into holiday cards. View all of them at Hubblesite.org  and download your own for spreading holiday PB&J. Blessed winter! 

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New Birth Moon 2008: Waiting

New Birth Moon 2009: Advent, Awaiting the Birth

New Birth Moon 2010: Winter is Dark, Yet Each Tiny Spark

New Birth Moon 2011: Wolves at the Gate

A Playlist for the Journey Moon

New Journey Moon 

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It is the Journey Moon, the time when summer is here and living is easy. People set out to seek their fortune in the world and have adventures. That is very much what the Journey Moon is like for me this year, and I need some good traveling music. Luckily, I was given an iPod touch for my birthday last year and have been making great use of it. 

Last winter I mostly listened to podcasts like On Being, Radio Lab and Snap Judgement. I find the stories told in these kinds of programs to be amazingly inspiring and I learn something new every time I listen. This spring, however, I noticed a shift in my habits. All of a sudden I was listening to music again. Being the analytical girl I am, I of course have some theories about why this might be. It has been an amazing emotional journey lately, and I really felt my focus shifting down a few chakras as the days got longer this spring. On days when I am feeling comfortable in my emotions, or enjoying manipulating them I listen to music. Other days I want to retreat back to the cool comfort of my intellect and I queue up Jad and Robert over at Radio Lab. It has been an interesting journey into previously uncharted territory this spring. And it has had an awesome soundtrack.

Here is the final version of my epic Grabbing the Tiger By the Tail 2012 Mix. I've provided links to videos for the songs wherever I can and if you need more information about any of them, let me know. Allons-y!

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• I Won't Back Down - Johnny Cash 

      A solid pump me up, Grab the Tiger By the Tail kinda song sung by a solid, Grab the Tiger by the Tail kinda guy. "Well I know what's right. I've got just one life in a world that keeps on pushing me aroud but I'll stand my ground. I won't back down."

• Human Touch - Bruce Springsteen

     "So you've been broken and youve been hurt, Show me somebody who ain't. eah, I know I ain't nobodys bargain, but, hell, a little touch up and a little paint... I just want something to hold on to.

And a little of that human touch." Bruce explains it all, again.

• Faster Horses (The Cowboy and the Poet) - Tom T. Hall

     What's important in life? Faster horses, younger women, older whiskey and more money. Don't believe me? Ask Tom T. Hall. 

• St Elmo's Fire (Man in Motion) - John Parr

     Every mix needs a 1980s power theme, right? Well, here's this one. "I can climb the highest mountain, cross the wildest sea, I can feel St. Elmo's Fire burnin' in me." Also, 21 year old Rob Lowe with this hair cut. Yes please.

• What would Brain Boitano Do - Southpark Soundtrack

     A question to ask in every situation. The answer will always be helpful. (Note: the video link above is from the Southpark movie and so is not entirely safe for work, small children or your grandmother. Unless you're grandmother is really, really cool.) And for some totally gratuitous fandom, check out this video of this song, with a Doctor Who video montage. Be still my beating heart. 

• If I had a Million Dollars - Bare Naked Ladies

    It was sweet in 1992 and it is sweet in 2012. Haven't you always wanted a monkey? 

• Birdhouse in your Soul - They Might Be Giants

     In the mid 1980s They Might Be Giants began recording songs, fake advertisements and other bits of joy onto an answering machine cassette and publishing the number in local New York papers like the Village Voice. By 2008 they had recorded over 500 distinct songs for what they called Dial-a-Song and have become kind of a big deal, if I do say so myself. "Not to put to fine a point on it, say I'm the only bee in your bonnet. Make a little birdhouse in your soul."

• Hakuna Matata- The Lion King Soundtrack

     "Hakuna matata, what a wonderful phrase. Hakuna matata, ain't no passing craze. It means no worries for the rest of our days!"  Actually inserted right here on the play list is Tenacious D's F&#k her Gently. It is not safe for work, children, grandmothers or most people with a sense of decency. But it's on my playlist and you might think it's funny. 

• Bad Romance - Lady Gaga

     Another one I love to sing along to very loudly. "I want your love and I want your revenge. I want you love, I don't want to be friends." The link above is to the Oregon State men's acapella group singing the song, but if you haven't seen the original video, go here.

• Nowhere Fast - Fire, Inc.

     The 1984 cult classic "rock n roll fable" movie Streets of Fire is like a strange ghost from my childhood. For years I wasn't sure if it was a figment of my imagination, but the soundtrack was there in my dad's cassette tape collection. This one, produced by the same guy who produced Meat Loaf's 1992 Bat Out of Hell II album, is one of the greatest rock n roll songs ever written. "Everybody's going nowhere slowly, they're only fighting for the chance to be last. There's nothing wrong with going nowhere baby. But we should be going nowhere fast."

• I Want it All or Nothing at All - Bruce Springsteen

    Bruce Springsteen lays it out in black and white. Thanks, Bruce. Also, imagine what trouble the guy who shot this video went though to get this footage in 1992. Thanks, man.  

• What Makes you Beautiful - One Direction

     Boy bands are great summer fare, right? This is my Driving to Meet a First Date, Pump Me Up For Anything song right now. For the proper experience, sing this at full volume with all your windows down while driving through a really hipstery neighborhood. Then listen to the song a second time. That's the way I do it these days. You might appreciate this amazing parody. I do. 

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 What music have you been listening to? Do you make mixes or playlists? What are important elements for you in a good mix? What journeys are you undertaking this summer? 

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New Journey Moon 2011: Perseus and the Journey Moon

New Journey Moon 2010: Journey Moon is New

New Journey Moon 2009: Journey Moon - it's always interesting to look back and see synchronicity between the years in a given season. The anxiety and restlessness I describe in this post feels very current, though our weather is much better this year  :)

Glory Days

I’m driving down I-5, somewhere between Grants Pass and Medford. Driving through the mountains always gives me a bit of a rush. There’s skill involved in that kind of driving, making sure I have enough power on the way up and enough control on the way down. The whole time I work to balance my attention. I’d just as soon stare out the window at the ridgelines and trees above or the farms and ranches below, but those wickedly sharp curves and lumbering semi trucks demand their share of my brain. The CD clicks over to the next song and all of a sudden there is something else competing for my attention. Bruce Springsteen ushers me into my weekend in Ashland, the town of my college years.

Now I think I'm going down to the well tonight

and I'm going to drink till I get my fill

And I hope when I get old I don't sit around thinking about it

but I probably will

Yeah, just sitting back trying to recapture

a little of the glory of, well time slips away

and leaves you with nothing mister but

boring stories of glory days

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I show up at the potluck, I can already hear folks pickin’ guitar on the back porch. Ruby, the fat old dog who used to be my lithe hiking companion rushes out the door to leap at me, crying with excitement at seeing me again after all this time. Ruby’s owner comes to the door to greet me, his four year old daughter hiding behind his legs. We hug like old friends who haven’t seen each other in too long because that’s what we are. I make my rounds at the party, warmly greeting the people I have loved for years and introducing myself to the new folks who I imagined I could love if I still lived in this town. Talk soon turns to babies – two of my dear friends are massively pregnant and my friend and his wife just had their second baby less than a month ago. I’m happy and sad. I want this, but there is so much more to want and not want about this place.

Soon I am holding the baby, her blue eyes open and staring into mine. The smell, oh lord, there is no smell like that of a new baby’s head. I sit in that cozy front room, humming songs, surrounded by pregnant women and older mothers talking love. The smell is still with me.

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Driving up into the mountains again, alone this time, more Bruce on the CD player. This road is so full of memories. The overlook I stopped at with this boyfriend, a roadcut we visited on a memorable geology field trip. Every curve, every tree, every view holding such strong memories of times past. 20 minutes up the road and I pull into the driveway of a park I’ve never been to. I read on the internet that they have a labyrinth made out of field stones in a meadow overlooking town. I could use some centering and grounding.

The labyrinth is exactly as beautiful as I expected it to be. Turkey vultures, ravens and robins have made their appearances on my walk and a giant, stately oak tree looks over the labyrinth. As I walk thoughts of the night before come back. It was uncomfortable; being in Ashland often is these days. Like trying on your favorite jeans from 10 years ago. Even if they fit they just don’t feel right, they aren’t right for now. My early 20s were such emotional times but I think I didn’t realize it at the time that revisiting the memories requires me to process it all in a way I didn’t or couldn’t then.

Along the path of the labyrinth there are tiny pink flowers, small rabbitbrush plants and even a small pine tree. Their presence in the here and now brings to mind the children and babies I spent time with that morning. May Day opens the door to summer and these beautiful little girls, along with the natural presence surrounding me, are showing me the door to my next set of Glory Days. They are here, now, and maybe in the future. The past doesn’t bother them, not even the mountain who watched it all come and go. Why am I spending so much anxiety over what happened back then? Those days were Glory Days, but there are Glory Days coming up, too. Those little girls, those flowers, that raven and that mountain all have the prime of their live coming up. And so do I. These are Glory Days now, in fact, these are Better Days!

Well my soul checked out missing as I sat listening
To the hours and minutes tickin' away
Yeah, just sittin' around waitin' for my life to begin
While it was all just slippin' away
I'm tired of waitin' for tomorrow to come
Or that train to come roarin' 'round the bend
I got a new suit of clothes a pretty red rose
And a woman I can call my friend

These are better days baby
Yeah there's better days shining through
These are better days baby
Better days with a girl like you

Happy May Day!