Don't Just Do Something, Sit There

New Milk Moon

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It is that darkest of dark time of the year when we review the year that just passed and begin to prepare for the one coming up. For the last three years I have done this in a more formal way and rather than making new years resolutions, I have gwished a theme for the upcoming year. As 2013 comes to a close the need for review of the old and gestation of the new is here again.

Part of a Tribe in the Spring

2013 was one hell of a year. The theme I set last January was Naming My Superpowers, Calling My Allies and it came with a wish and a hope to put my talents to good use and to build my community of allies to help with that work. I was looking for more discernment in my activities and my companions. I think I did a better job in 2013 than in previous years, but my skills of discernment clearly need more honing.

I didn't do as much blogging this year as in the past but going back through my Facebook feed allowed me to review the year in pretty good detail. Last winter and spring were amazing times of growth and exploration. I fell in love with an amazing man and we had some wonderful adventures together. Food, sex, conversations; it was mind and life expanding. My one blog post from this spring dates from this period and sums up a lot of my thinking during this time. And then my life exploded. That relationship fell apart and then I got very ill with a bacterial infection that took all the king's horses and all the king's men to put me back together again. The physical toll was great and the emotional toll was possibly greater. Emotions I didn't know I had overwhelmed me so I did what I am in the habit of doing.... more stuff. The late summer found me in another intense romantic relationship and then in an amazingly intense job. I got the middle school science teaching position I've been angling for for years and it is everything and more. This autumn has felt like a crisis time when everything is falling apart. My summer motto of 'better but not yet betterer' took on whole new levels of emotional and existential meaning. I wrote about my thinking along these lines in this post from late November. Apparently, it is 

Dolled Up Mid-Summer

difficult for my seventh grade students to be 12, but almost just as difficult for me to be thirty three.

Even with the major hiccup in the summer of being, ya know, almost dead for close to a month, I still followed my standard M.O. of going full speed ahead in 2013. I may have still had difficulty knowing what to say no to, but I had allies all along the way. My friends were amazing during my illness and recovery and I learned so much from the men I met and loved this year. Building community, or at least thinking about how to do it, was a major theme of this year. In my 2013 gwish post I used a photo with the african proverb, "if you want to go fast, go alone, if you want to go far, go together." I don't know how far I got, but I know I got there because of my friends this year.

During this time of gestating my intentions for 2014 I have employed many of my traditional gwishing techniques. I drew a tarot spread, listened for resonance with colors, images, animals and phrases. I thought about what I wanted and what I did not want from this upcoming year and finally, after weeks of thinking and listening, found my theme for the year.

2014, Don't Just Do Something, Sit There.

By Sharon Flowers

The phrase is a title of a book by Sylvia Boorstein, a Buddhist teacher I first heard through Krista Tippet's amazing interview with her. It is a joke, a play on words, a phrase that always makes me chuckle and smile wryly. You're right, you're right, I know you're right I mutter as the phrase pops into my head. In the last few years I have cultivated my doing self and have learned so much from that, but as I continued doing and did not feel any better about my life it became more frantic and obsessive. In a particularly dark moment of this last autumn I was on a date with a gentleman caller, drinking beer, talking about politics, looking forward to our adult sleepover, when my internal commentator noted, "Dang, girlfriend, you got this doing-and-not-feeling thing down to a science!" That frantic doing has metastasized into uncontrollable worry and anxiety this winter and I feel miserable much of the time. And it is all so boring. It is the same stupid patterns I've had for years but now that I see them they are achey and dull, not even succeeding at what they were designed to do.

I did draw a tarot spread this winter (and will talk more about it below) but this year my theme came a lot from listening for resonance with words and images. The blue heron, a patient and stealthy hunter, will be my theme animal for this 

By David Jakes

year. Herons sit still as a tree waiting for their prey to forget they're there. They work hard to not spook off the good stuff that will surely come their way. Like herons, chicory flowers have been making themselves known to me for years. They are the weediest of the weedy plants and will grow out of sidwalks, along highways, in gravel drives and on the edges of lawns. It is used for salad greens, livestock forage, a coffee subsitute and a medicine for all sorts of ailments. The gorgeous blue flowers are said to be able to open locked doors. Powerful allies to have in this year of bravely facing the habits of mind and heart that rear their head in physical and mental stillness.

Other symbols of stillness and introspection have come to work with me. The first was an unlikely and ancient copper Buddha found in Helgo, a Viking town dating to about 800 C.E. The small, beautifully worked statue appears to have been made about two to three hundred years earlier in northern India and then worked its way through trade and capture this important center of Viking trade. 1500 years after it was made and thousands of miles away, the Buddha continues to be a visual representation of the ability of humans to achieve some kind of peace. This Buddha is a conundrum,

The Helgo Buddha

 though, because this statue has traveled so far away from where it started. Like the heron who can spread its 7 foot wing span to find a better pond or stream and the weedy chicory that has hitched rides with humans to all ends of the earth, the Helgo Buddha has traveled but not lost it's stillness. My tarot card for the year is the Hermit, another character travels with stillness. This Hermit card came at the end of a spread full of winged hearts, this is the cups suit in my Fairy Tale Tarot deck. This suit is correlated with emotions, dreams and the moon and the winged heart itself is a Sufi symbol for unconditional love and devotion. My spread indicated that work must be done finding or giving support and unity in this realm before connection and healing can happen. Then those powers of love can be used to help others, fight for what is right and increase the true wealth of love in this world.

• 2014 will be green like old copper and healthy trees, grey like heron feathers, carved stones and a hermit-wizard's cloak, blue like summer skies and weedy chicory flowers. 
• 2014 will be a year of answering the phone with "What fresh hell is this?" and hoping it really is a new problem rather than the reheated boring problems I have seen before.
• 2014 will be a year of knowing what to keep and what to let go. It will be a year of cultivating Right Memory (seeing the patterns but facing the world fresh), of Right Heart (Finding new ways of love while releasing obsessive and painful habits) and Right Attention (now that I don't have to be perfect, I can be good). 
• 2014 will be a year of attending to my people, building patterns of connection and of swirling round and round with others who want to dance. It will be a time of building the world I want; don't just sit there, do something.

This last gwish is based on my Sabian symbol for 2014, Gemini 22: Dancing Couples Crowd the Barn in a Harvest Festival. The first part of my theme for this year is all about finding peace and joy in stillness, introspection and changing my own patterns of thought and feeling about the world. This symbol and gwish provide the other side of this coin, that of cultivating peace and joy through healthy connection with other people. My best friends and I are working out plans for a game night of sorts, an attempt to build our friend community back up into fruitful health, a project streaming directly out of my work at calling my allies last year. The allies have been called, now they need to connect with each other into a true caring community. This symbol brings to mind ceremonial times out of the daily grind of work to connect, enjoy and celebrate the turning of the seasons. In addition to our game night, I think this image is calling me to 

New Years Day 2014

find ways to connect in my church and school communities as well as rekindle my connection to the wheel of the year through blogging and celebrations. 

Many of my friends found 2013 to be an exceptionally challenging year. Some have much more painful horror stories from this year than I do but my year was hard. I was sick, I was heartbroken and I struggled a lot with uncovering truths about who I am and how I operate. I did have moments of pure bliss, wild adventures and times of deep connection. 2014 will be a year of more discernment, more stillness, more interesting problems and more dancing joyfully in the stream of the cosmos. I for one am looking forward to it. 

* Full text of Gemini 22: DANCING COUPLES CROWD THE BARN IN A HARVEST FESTIVAL

When achievements have been made and there is a sense of security and 'Harvest' in the air, it is time to celebrate with one another. There is a need to get back to a simple, conservative level of enjoyment. There's a sense of being in tune with seasonal rhythms. The feeling of a healthy heart and a healthy mind, while taking a break from the struggles of providing, can bring joy to everyone involved. See if you can take time out to celebrate and to enjoy your environment.

Celebrating the warmth and providence of the Earth. The joy of nature's harvest. Joining with others to celebrate. The reality of rhythmical or seasonal adjustments. Dancing. Barns and dance halls.

The Caution: Being the wallflower, not participating. Waiting for a special invitation rather than responding to the openness of the situation.

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New Milk Moon 2009: New Milk Moon

New Milk Moon 2010: Forty Two with a Seventy Percent Chance of Rain

New Milk Moon 2011: The Quaker Year

New Milk Moon 2012: Year of the Dragon

This post is a New Year's Gwishing post. Be sure to check out previous year's posts: 2011 Building a Better Teacher, 2012 Grabbing the Tiger By the Tail and 2013 Engaging My Superpowers, Calling My Allies. There are older and other New Years day posts under the label New Year.

Year of the Dragon

New Milk Moon

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I am the unquenchable Fire,
  The center of all energy,
  The stout heroic heart.
  I am truth and light,
  I hold power and glory in my sway.
  My presence
  Disperses dark clouds
  To tame the Fates.

  I am the Dragon.

Year of the Dragon

Gung Hay Fat Choy! January 23 is the new Fasting Moon in Annette Hinshaw's calendar and the first day of the lunar new year, a huge celebration all over Asia. The festival is called Tet Nguyen Dan in Vietnam, Chaul Chnam Thmey in Cambodia and Chun Jie, or the Spring Festival, in Chinese speaking communities. When I was a little kid in San Francisco Chinese New Year was almost as big of a holiday at my elementary school as Thanksgiving or Spring Break. We made red envelopes to fill with chocolate coins and watched lion dancers at school and parades in Chinatown. 

Every year in the Chinese calendar is ruled by an animal, creating the Chinese zodiac. The year 4710, or 2012 in the Gregorian calendar, is a Year of the Dragon, a headstrong, charismatic, and enthusiastic animal who's luck just never stops. Dragon is known for being a free spirited doer who always wins people's admiration and never accepts defeat. Though my theme for 2012 is Grabbing the Tiger By the Tail, the Chinese Dragon is a perfect poster child for the kind of year I want to have. Bright, buoyant, active and adventurous. There is a caution, though, with Dragon because they can tend towards being a bit brash, abrasive or prone to power-over dynamics. I am liable to fall into these patterns myself so I will be calling on the Water Dragon, this year's elemental dragon, to help me remain more open minded, to see other people's points of view and weigh all the options before rushing into action. Martin Luther King, Jr., Woodrow Wilson and John Lennon were all born in the Year of the Dragon. I wonder what will be born this year?

Dragon and Mandarins

Food plays a central role in the celebration of the Chinese New Year and there is much symbolism on the banquet table. Oranges and tangerines are given as gifts and eaten at meals both because they are so deliciously in season this time of year, but also because their names sound like the words for luck and gold in Chinese. Whole fish are often served to represent the beginning and end of a lucky year and sweets of various kinds bring a sweetness to the year. The local Asian newspaper here in Portland printed the following recipe and I hope to try it sometime this season. Long beans or long noodles represent long life and lobster represents the dragon of the zodiac. Shrimp or chicken can be substituted for the lobster, or combined with the dragon of the sea. Combining lobster and chicken is another traditional food, symbolizing the lucky union of the dragon and the phoenix.

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Dragon Beans

1 tbs oil (vegetable, peanut, or lard)

1/4 tsp Sichuan peppercorns, crushed

1/2 tsp Chinese five-spice powder

2 cloves garlic, minced

1 1/2 pounds Chinese long beans (also called yard long beans, string beans can be used)

1/2 cup water

1/4 cup oyster sauce

1 tbs soy sauce

1 tbs toasted sesame oil

splash of Sriracha sauce

7 oz cooked lobster meat, chopped (substitute/combine shrimp or chicken)

1 tbs toasted sesame seeds

In a wok or deep skillet over medium-high, heat the vegetable oil. Add the peppercorns, five spice powder, and garlic. Heat, stirring constantly for 30 seconds.

Add the beans and toss to coat. Add the water, oyster sauce, and soy sauce and cover. Allow the beans to stem for five minutes, or until just tender. Add the sesame oil, Sriracha, lobster meat, and sesame seeds. Toss together and cook until just heated through. Serve immediately. 

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Lion Dance

How are you celebrating this ancient and global festival? Do you have family or community traditions around the Chinese New Year or is all of this new to you? What foods bring good luck and wealth in your home? How is the dragon going manifest its optimistic, exuberant and charming energies into your life this year?

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New Milk Moon 2009: New Milk Moon

New Milk Moon 2010: Forty Two with a Seventy Percent Chance of Rain

New Milk Moon 2011: The Quaker Year

This post is about Chinese New Year, which I mention in the Full Fasting Moon 2009 post and The Nian.

** This winter was tough and I got messed up in my calendar. I wrote this thinking it was the Fasting Moon but it was really the Milk Moon. Since the post itself is more about the the Chinese New Year I just changed the tags and labels. For more on my thoughts about this, see this post. **

The Positive Feedback Loop of Love

Full Milk Moon
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The Moon that is full this week is the one Annette Hinshaw calls the Milk Moon. After the hard work of giving birth, the Mother is laying quietly, protecting her child as he begins to grow. Milk flows from her breast fitfully at first, but as he nurses he stimulates her to produce more and as he grows he nurses more. It is the beautiful positive feedback loop of love - the more we give, the more we get so we can give more.
In order to grow into a fully functioning, well balanced human being we each need both the support of a community and chances to grow independently. Not only do we need to balance the nourishment we get from our community and from independent growth, we also sometimes need the withholding of support from our community to grow. These are the themes of Annette Hinshaw's Milk Moon and Fasting Moon, the third and fourth months of her calendar. The moons opposite these two in the waning half of the year, the Father's Moon and the Nesting Moon show us symbols of how mature adults interact with their communities. The Father's Moon asks us when we can use our resources to support the larger community while the Nesting Moon asks us when it is in our best interest to withhold our support. These four moon symbols, taken together, ask some very deep questions about how each person interacts with their larger support network.
This weekend I had the privilege of attending a Quaker Wedding at my church. Quaker Weddings, and Quaker Meetings in general, are a beautiful example of the Milk Moon's energies in action. Quakers believe that every person has that of God within them, and the capacity to hear the Light speak directly to them. We believe that a community is required, however, to clearly discern whether a leading is truly from God or not. We see God's truth as something like the old Indian parable about the blind men and the elephant. Each person sees only one small part and can not grasp the whole. A community of people have more data points and so a more accurate view of God's enormous true shape and plan. The community is required to support the individual in their search and ensure that their perceptions are within the realm of true leadings from God.
When two Friends decide to marry they do not need a minister to perform a ceremony because we do not need an intermediary between ourselves and either God or our community. A traditional Quaker wedding takes place within the Meeting for Worship and the couple simply stands, gives their vows of love and commitment and then sits back down. Out of the silence other Friends may speak words to or about the couple, or anything else they are led to say out loud. After the ceremony everyone present signs a certificate making the wedding legal. Like a mother caring for her baby or a community caring for its children, a Quaker meeting cares for it's members and gives them the support they need to do their best work. A traditional Quaker wedding is a time when that best work of the two individuals, their commitment to each other, seems to physically grow out of the work of the community, it's communal worship.

We are only barely a month past the solstice and the beginning of this new year. Is anything growing in your life along with the sun as winter grows into spring? What can you do to be a part of the community that protects and nurtures tiny sweet things? What community can help you grow if you are the tiny sweet thing? Do you have a lovely story of a community that grew a tiny sweet thing into a big, strong, very good thing? How have you seen the positive feedback loop of love work in your life? I'd love to hear that story.
Happy Full Milk Moon!
The photos are by sponng, molajen and christysherrer. Please click on the photos to go to their flickr pages and see more of their amazing work. Thank you!
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Full Milk Moon 2009: Nourishing Self As Well As Others 
Full Milk Moon 2010: The Full Wolf Moon

The Quaker Year

New Milk Moon

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Happy New Year! It’s 2011! I hope everyone had a lovely New Years Eve and has been enjoying what this new year is bringing your way. I went out with some friends to a dance party and had a lovely time. I don’t make new years resolutions, but I do make goals and one for 2011 is to be very aware of my alcohol consumption. I enjoy letting loose and being a part of the party I am ready to stop getting “accidentally intoxicated” and also sick of wasting my time being hung over. I only had one glass of champagne on New Years and it has been so encouraging to know that I can go out, have fun with my friends, be silly and goofy and still get home safely and at a reasonable time, and be fully functional the next day. Happy 2011 indeed!

Last year at New Year’s I pondered the idea of naming years like we name months in this calendar. One group that gave a “name” to their years are the American Indian people of the northern Great Plains. The Sioux and other Northern Plains tribes used a system called Winter Counts where a pictograph was chosen for each year recorded on a hide or piece of fabric. The pictographs, which spurred the memory of the storyteller who kept the count, often represented diseases, successful or tragic raids or wars, or natural events. The earliest Winter Count in the Smithsonian museum is called the Battiste Good winter count after the Lakota man who kept it in the late 1800s. On that Winter Count the year 1708 is called Many Kettle Winter after the tribe’s first interaction with the English that resulted in them aquiring both guns and iron cooking kettles. The year 1751 was called Killed Two White Buffalo Cows year, after the very rare and auspicious event of getting two albino bison in the same winter.

I love the idea of naminga year so put some thought into the important events of these last 12 months in my life. I traveled to Pennsylvania in the summer and in the autumn my sister moved back home. I did a lot of creative writing over the course of the year, enjoyed the second year of my garden and Lucky died in October. But none of these things match my involvement at West Hills Friends church for being pivotal and influential on my life. I started attending this Quaker church in December of 2009 and went almost every weekend over the whole year. I started a practice of daily praying during Lent and have done a fair amount of bible reading as well as some serious study of Quaker testimonies and history. I made real and meaningful connections with other people in the community and even have the start of a few good friendships. In December I had the thought that I might be willing to say “I am a Quaker” rather than just that I attend a Quaker church. 2010 has clearly been The Quaker Year.

Both the Lakota people and myself in thinking about 2010 name the year as it is closing out but I would like to think about naming the year as it begins. Rather than just review and reflection that requires some divination. Ketzirah over at Peeling a Pomegranate did some wish dreaming (gwishing as Havi at The Fluent Self might call it) for her 2010 and came up with a theme and some affirmations she calls her Dream Decree. I looked for inspiration for my own wish dreaming for this upcoming year in the mysterious Sabian Symbols, a set of images and descriptions for each of the 360 degrees in the astrological zodiac. The symbols were clairvoyantly “discovered” by an astrologer and a spiritualist medium in 1925 but like other complex oracles tap into a very deep understanding of the world. Using Lynda Hill’s online oracle I randomly picked two symbols for my year 2011.

The first symbol I chose is Cancer 23: This Symbol shows the gathering together of those of like mind in order to exchange or share ideas and information. My secondary symbol is Aquarius 3, “A deserter from the navy stands suddenly aware of a dawning truth: Freedom is never the result of compromise.”

The first seems a perfect, almost too easy fit for what I see of 2011 so far. I just started a Masters of Arts in Teaching program with the goal of becoming a public school teacher. The program uses a cohort model of a strong small group that studies together throughout the 16 month program and has the overall program objectives of getting teachers to “Think critically, transform practice and promote justice.” Uh, yeah. That fits.

The second symbol at first glance seems a warning about the constriction of rules and how they may come into conflict with strongly held beliefs and necessary freedoms. It seems to speak to the path I am taking towards a very regulated profession that requires personal passion and creativity, and the reservations and conflicts I feel about that. I also see a warning to be careful what I do, or fail to, engage in. It is asking me to practice my will force, not just the heart and mind forces alluded to in the first symbol, in whatever I choose to be a part of this year.

With these rich images, as well of those of Rob Breszny and his Free Will Astrology horoscope to guide me I have come up with my dream decree for 2011:

The only thing standing between this moment and the life I dream of is my own work in rooting out and collecting that which has been provided for me. My participation is required and what I create in collaboration with other seekers moves the world forward.

• I will be the Deputy Director of Green Lights and Purple Hearts. I will be courageous and diligent the exercise of my will.
• I will be the Puzzle Master Supreme and Minister of Marvelous Mysteries. I will be restless and selfless in the pursuit of meaning.
• I will be the Field Commander of Free Lunches and Poetic License. I will be loving in the cultivation and expression of my feeling life.

2010 was the year of Beautiful Quaker Mysteries. 2011 will be the year of Building The Future Teacher. What are you gwishing for 2011?

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Full text of the sabian symbols I pulled for 2011:

CANCER 23: THE MEETING OF A STUDY GROUP OR LITERARY SOCIETY: This Symbol shows the gathering together of those of like mind in order to exchange or share ideas and information. The search for meaning should always be made in order to enrich not only yourself but those around you. Finding the best way to describe something creates the opportunity for greater access by the collective. Shared higher knowledge. Print media, newspapers, libraries, written word. Critics. Diaries, records and minutes of meetings. Talk back radio.The Caution: Falsifying of ideas. Propaganda spread by media. Intellectual smugness which excludes non-establishment thought. Chatting instead of doing. Being critical.

AQUARIUS 3: A DESERTER FROM THE NAVY STANDS SUDDENLY AWARE OF A DAWNING TRUTH: FREEDOM IS NEVER THE RESULT OF COMPROMISE You may find that the rigorous restraints and rules of the situation are no longer bearable. A decision to opt out may be moral or to maintain free spirit. There are always consequences for not playing the game. Are you prepared for them? Someone could feel they are being taken away from home and family for a reason they don't really understand. Rebellion. Leaving situations although allegiance had been pledged. Wrestling with one's conscience. The Caution: Not being prepared to play by the rules of any socially structured game. Withdrawing support when one should be involved in a physical, mental or emotional way.

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Milk Moon 2009: New Milk Moon

Milk Moon 2010: Forty Two with a Seventy Percent Chance of Rain

This post is about New Years day which I also wrote about in the New Milk Moon post linked to above as well as the January 2010 post New Year!

Full Wolf Moon

This full moon is the Milk Moon in Annette Hinshaw's Calendar, but the Wolf Moon in many other calendars. The Wolf Moon is the moon of deep winter, the dark before the dawn of spring, when the wolves of hunger, darkness and despair are howling at the gates and the doors. Even for those of us 21st Century Americans who are not actually hungry, it can be a hard time.

One of the things that is cheering me this month is a new calendar/day planner I received as a suprise gift in the mail. Waverly Fitzgerald is a writer who speaks eloquently about time and seasonal holidays and I had been a fan of work for years before she asked for photo submissions for a new project. I showed her some selected work from my Flickr stream and she chose 4 photos for her Leaves From the Tree of Time day planner. She sent me four copies of the planner as a thank you. I've kept a sketchbook, day planner or calendar on and off over the years and enjoy the nudge towards mindfulness that I feel when I keep that practice. My favorite calendar ever was Cosmo Doogood's Urban Almanac, a short lived publication with everything from full moon dates, poems about trees and snow and guides to city parks around the country to articles on the natural history of pigeons. I still have both copies ever printed and love them to death. Waverly's Leaves from the Tree of Time is in that same vein with moon and holiday information and short essays to help align your thinking with the yearly cycle. I highly recommend checking out her site and her calendars. She does some amazing writing. Photo by: Uteart

How else do we tame the wolf of winter? Good food, good friends, time outside. Giving thanks and having faith that spring will come again. Here is a story for the Wolf Moon, a story about a man who, by being his best, brought out the best in The Wolf.

Note: This story is from God's Troubadour, The Story of St. Francis of Assisi, by by Sophie Jewett. I have slightly edited it for space, you can read the entire chapter, as well as the rest of the book at Mainlesson.com

BROTHER WOLF

"Said Grey Brother, 'Where shall we lair to-day? for from now we follow new trails.' "—Kipling.

THE huts in the plain below Assisi were the home of the Little Poor Men, in so far as they had a home for they were wanderers always. The Brothers Leone or Francis went on foot, and fought no battles; yet they had need to be as brave as the best of knights, for they went among the sick, and cared for those who were dying of most terrible diseases. They met fierce enemies, too, since many people hated them because they spoke without fear in the streets, saying that pride and greed and war are wicked, and that folk should live by love and labour, not by fighting and robbery. When people saw that the Brothers really lived as they preached, that, when they were stoned by cruel hands and abused by cruel tongues, they returned only gentleness for anger, many began to listen gladly, and even barons and princes came to love Francis and his Brothers, as the poor and wretched had loved them from the first.

Francis himself had a manner so sweet and winning that no one could refuse to listen to him; and sometimes he used to be sent for to make peace between two enemies, because even angry men, listening to his voice, forgot their hatred, and were ready to forgive and to be friends again. The stories say, moreover, that he could control not fierce men only, but the fiercest of wild beasts.
One of the places which Francis often visited is a little city called Gubbio, about fifteen miles north of Assisi. Gubbio looks not unlike Assisi, but is still more steeply built up a mountain side. In those days the stone houses seemed to huddle within the great city walls for shelter, for there was frequent fighting at Gubbio.

Once, when Brother Francis came to Gubbio, all the city was in terror because of a wolf, the largest and fiercest ever known. The huge creature prowled about the country, devouring sheep and goats; but, worse than that, it fell upon men, and had killed more than one shepherd. No man dared to go out of the gates alone, and even three or four together went armed, as if to battle; for the beast came close to the city walls, and his strength was as that of three hunters.
Bands of citizens had been out to seek the wolf, but had found only the track of his big feet, and the bones of the victims that he had eaten. Night after night the children of Gubbio shivered in their beds, thinking of a long shadow that crept about the city walls in the moonlight, and seeming to hear the pad of four swift feet, coming nearer and nearer.

Brother Francis had been often in Gubbio and was well known there, and much loved, and therefore all the people turned to him with the stories of their suffering. He was sorry, says the old tale, to see the folk wishing, but not daring, to go outside the gates, because the wolf was most terrible and fierce. To the astonishment and horror of everybody, Francis declared that he would himself go out and meet the wolf.

Though all the crowd begged him not to venture, and filled his ears with accounts of the cruelty of the beast, the Little Poor Man went out from the city gate and down the road toward the spot where the wolf was thought to lurk. Behind the Brother came the citizens of Gubbio, still frightened, but curious to see what would happen, and, it may be, quieted by the coolness and fearlessness of Francis. Close at the heels of the Brothers marched certain venturesome boys, and at the very end of the procession dangled a group of smaller, timider children, round-eyed and open-mouthed, who clutched each others' hands, and were always ready to scamper home at a moment's warning.

About a quarter of a mile beyond the gate, where a wood of tall oaks and walnuts shadowed the road, those who were nearest turned pale at the sight of the wolf, coming swiftly along, with his great jaws open, eager to spring upon Brother Francis, who walked ahead and alone. He went, not as a soldier goes to meet an enemy, but as one might go out to meet a welcome friend.

As the unarmed man and the wild beast neared each other, Francis called, cheerily: "Come hither, Brother Wolf! I ask you, for Christ's sake, to do no harm to me nor to any one." Then the crowd saw, with wonder, that the terrible wolf stopped running, and that the great, wicked jaws closed; and, presently, the creature came softly up to Brother Francis and, meek as a lamb, lay down at his feet. And Francis spoke to him as one man might reason with another: "Brother Wolf, you do much harm in all this countryside, and you have committed many crimes, hurting and killing God's creatures. Not only have you killed and eaten beasts, but you have dared to kill men, made in God's image, and, therefore, you deserve to be punished like the worst of thieves and murderers; and all the people cry out and murmur against you; and everybody is your enemy." The wolf lay perfectly still, with his head flat in the dust of the road, and his red tongue lolled out like that of a winded hound. The people forgot their fright, and spread themselves in a circle that all might see and hear; the children tiptoed closer, to look at the monster who had filled all their dreams with terror. "But I wish, Brother Wolf," went on the voice of Francis, "to make peace between you and this folk, so that you shall not harm them any more; and they shall forgive you all your misdeeds, and neither the men nor the dogs shall trouble you any longer." Then, with body and head and tail, the great wolf seemed to agree to all that Brother Francis said. Perhaps the wolf somewhat wondered what he should do for dinner, if he could not kill a sheep nor a child; perhaps he was so charmed by this strange, gentle voice that he forgot all about his dinner. Brother Francis did not forget, as his next words showed. "Brother Wolf," said he, "since you are honestly willing to make and keep this peace, I promise you that, as long as you live, the men of this place shall give you food, so that you shall never go hungry; for I know well that it is hunger that has made you do all this evil. But I want you to promise me, in return, that you will never harm any human being, nor any animal. Will you promise me this?" And the wolf nodded his head, as if he said: "Yes, I promise." And Francis said: "Brother Wolf, I want you to make me so sure of your promise that I cannot doubt it." The man held out his hand, and the beast lifted his paw and laid it clumsily on Brother Francis's palm, as much as to say: "Here is my hand. I will keep my part of the treaty." "And now," said Francis, "I wish you, Brother Wolf, to come with me, and not to be afraid, and we will finish this business."

Francis turned back toward the city, and the wolf walked beside him like a pet lamb; and the people of Gubbio followed, in great wonder, silently. But, once within the city, they spread the news from street to street and everybody, big and little, young and old, crowded into the square to see Brother Francis and the wolf.

Beside the fountain, in the centre of the square, stood the Little Poor Man in his grey gown, with the great grey beast at his side. When he spoke, his clear voice carried far, and all the crowd fell silent, striving to hear. "Listen, my friends," said Francis, "Brother Wolf, who is here before you, has promised me on his honour never to hurt you again in any way; and you, in your turn, must promise to give him all that he needs. I will go surety for him that he will keep his promise." And all the people, with one voice, pledged themselves to feed the wolf, and not to harm him.

Then, before them all, Brother Francis said to the wolf: "And you, Brother Wolf, promise again before all this people that you will keep faith with them, and will hurt no man, nor animal, nor any living thing." Then the wolf knelt down and bent his head and said, as well as he could, with his body, his head and his ears, that he meant to keep his word. And Brother Francis said: "Give me your hand here, before all the people, as you did outside the gate"; and the big grey paw was laid again in the hand of Brother Francis, while all the people shouted to heaven for joy that God had sent so good a man to deliver them from so terrible a beast.

After this Brother Wolf lived in Gubbio, and went about tamely from door to door, even entering the houses, without doing harm or being harmed. He was well fed and politely treated by everybody, and not a dog dared to bark at him. He must have led a long life of evil-doing before his change of heart, for, at the end of two years, he died of old age. When he died, all the citizens of Gubbio mourned for him greatly, for his own sake, and because the sight of him walking so meekly through the streets had made them always remember the goodness of Brother Francis.

Forty Two with a Seventy Percent Chance of Rain

Forty two with a seventy percent chance of rain, that's the weather forecast for this week following the new Milk Moon. It was the forecast for last week, too. And next week. Yup, it's January in Portland, Oregon. We don't even get the excitement of a blizzard, or a flood (though those could pop up), it's just rainy and grey all week long. My dog walks are almost always in the dark and I've taken to hanging up my outdoor pants with the dog towels by the door because they are usually muddy up to my knees. My car is starting to smell musty from the wet dog in it so often, and the trees and ferns in the park just look water logged.

Winter Song
by Katherine Mansfield

Rain and wind, and wind and rain.
Will the Summer come again?
Rain on houses, on the street,
Wetting all the people's feet,
Though they run with might and main.
Rain and wind, and wind and rain.

Snow and sleet, and sleet and snow.
Will the Winter never go?
What do beggar children do
With no fire to cuddle to,
P'raps with nowhere warm to go?
Snow and sleet, and sleet and snow.

Hail and ice, and ice and hail,
Water frozen in the pail.
See the robins, brown and red,
They are waiting to be fed.
Poor dears, battling in the gale!
Hail and ice, and ice and hail.

This is the time of year when winter really starts grating on a person. The glitter and joy of the holidays are over but spring is a long, long, long way away. It seems like the trees and birds and squirrels are all resting, but I have to keep getting up every day and going to work. It makes me feel pretty gloomy. I have learned that I don't do well if I totally fight against the gloom, nor do I do well if I completely give in. I can tend towards the phlegmatic in temperament and so letting myself just sit on the couch, eat ice cream, read and sleep all winter is a bit too tempting. At this time of year I need to strive for a good balance between honoring my body, and the season's, imperative for the renewal of rest, and finding reasons to celebrate and hope until nature comes marching in with blaring flowers and brilliantly sunny days.

Last winter I wrote a little about hope and learned that the deadly sin we call sloth was originally called despair. Despair was thought of as the refusal to enjoy God's goodness or the inability to love God with all one's heart and soul. So then that means that hope is the act of loving God with all one's heart and soul, despite the grey and wet, despite the unemployment statistics, despite the images coming out of Haiti. How audacious! But that's our job in these dark days of winter. We need to start looking for signs of spring in sprouting daffodils and crocuses, signs of hope amid disasters and signs of hope in our own lives.

What is getting you down this winter and how are you buoying yourself against it? What is the most beautiful, hopeful, delicious or glorious thing you've seen or heard recently? How do you keep your house and car mud-free?

Nourishing Self as Well as Others

This weekend was the full moon in Annette Hinshaw's Milk Moon. One of the major themes of the milk moon is knowing when to nourish others and when to encourage independence so you can nourish yourself. The moon was also in Cancer over the full moon weekend bringing with it the energies of love, compassion and a "reality check" around issues of the heart.

A reality check certainly came to my house this weekend. My boyfriend and I came to the conclusion that it was time to end our relationship of one year. We don't not love each other anymore, we just realize that not being together will be better in the end.

My friend Riana of These Days in French Life writes of this moon:

"Full Moon in Cancer will help us heighten our creativity and compassion by focusing on realizing possibilities. It’s compassionate and caring and taking our relationships to the next level, is a super powerful moon to help make our dreams come true."

Dave and I have had a wonderful time together but realize that things can be better. Moving apart, though painful now, will allow room for greater things to bloom. Possibly even greater things in our own relationship.

Lisa Dale Miller of Astrowisdom.com says that the planetary alignments this weekend allowed for loving others through hard times, and also for risking it all to try make a new commitment that has been a long time coming. I know this is true because I lived it this weekend. We spent a lot of time holding each other, knowing that it was time to end the old and start the new. Much sadness, but much hope as well.

These next few months will be a time of nourishing myself and nuturing my own independence. A time to grow, and a time to plant seeds for the future. I'm looking forward to it.

New Milk Moon

Last week was the new moon of what Annette Hinshaw calls the Milk Moon. Usually the Milk Moon begins later in January and the earth would be reflecting the first struggles of a new baby to grow and thrive. This year the Milk Moon began just before the new year and though we recently had 10 inches of snow melt overnight the earth is still deeply in the grip of winter. For a minute it felt like a false spring because of the green emerging from beneath the snow. False it was, though, seeing as nothing is growing and everything is still flattened by the ice and snow.

Right on the heels of solstice and Christmas comes another winter holiday that fell in the Milk Moon this year - New Years! Our New Years Day, celebrated in deep winter, is more a Roman custom than a Northern European pagan custom, but it's a rowdy fun holiday none the less. As is usual for Americans I went out with friends, enjoyed more than my fair share of alcoholic drinks and spend the first day of 2009 sleeping it all off. Happy New Year!

There are lots of traditions that are supposed to bring luck for the new year. All of my favorite, of course, include food. Hoppin' John is a traditional New Year's dish of black eyed peas or field peas and rice cooked with various pork products. It is indigenous to the African American cuisine of the southern U.S, the Carribean, Central America and Northern South America; everywhere Africans were brought as slaves to the New World.

Beans are a traditional New Year's food in Europe as well as America. The Italians eat lentils and both cultures claim that the little round beans look like money. Eat a bowl of beans on New Years Day and your coffers will be full all year. In the American South greens like collards accentuate the magic - a big pile of green is welcome all year round :) On New Year's day I made an easy stovetop version of Hoppin' John and a big pile of curly kale. It was easy, delicious and pleasantly warming on a cold, rainy night.

Stovetop Hoppin' John

Serves 3 or 4
*1/3 cup diced ham1 slice of bacon, diced

*1/2 onion, diced

*2 cloves garlic, pressed

*1 1/2 cups long grained rice

*3 cups liquid - water and/or chicken stock

*1 can of black eyed peas

*salt, pepper, dried thyme
Satuee the ham, bacon and onions together in a 2 or 3 quart pan with a lid until the bacon has rendered it's fat and the onion is soft and starting to brown. Add the garlic and thyme and sautee a minute more. Add the rice to the pot and sautee until the edges of the rice turn transluscent, or just a minute or two.

If the bottom of your pan is quite dark with carmelizing pork add just a little of the liquid at a time and scrape the browned bits off the pot. Otherwise, add the liquid, stir to combine and bring the whole thing to a boil. Add a little salt (be careful, both the ham and the bacon are salty) and black pepper then cover and turn heat to low.

When the rice is mostly cooked, in about 10 or 15 minutes, gently stir the peas into the rice mixture. Canned black eyed peas are quite soft so I had to literally fold them in. Taste and adjust salt then put the lid back on and let the rice heat up the beans. Make your greens while this is happening. Enjoy with some hot sauce or more black pepper.

Steam-Sauteed Hearty Greens
*1 bunch of curly kale or collards or mustard greens

*2 cloves garlic, sliced

*1 tbs bacon grease plus a little olive oil

*a shake of red pepper flakes

*a pinch of salt

*a dash of red wine vinegar
Clean the kale and remove the leaves from the stem. Chop or tear the leaves into fork sized pieces. Heat a couple inches of water in a pan big enough to hold all of the kale. When it is boiling add the greens, stir a bit with a wooden spoon or tongs and cover. Let the kale steam a minute up to five then drain in a colander. While the kale is draining and drying a bit heat the fat in a sautee pan or wok. Add the garlic and red pepper and cook until the garlic is starting to brown a bit. Add the kale and toss and turn with tongs. Cook until the kale is fully incorporated with the flavored oil. Sprinkle with salt and then finish with vinegar.

The time right after New Year's Day is a time for reflecting and thinking about plans for the upcoming year. 2008 was a great year. I have had wonderful times and learned so much. 2009 will just get better :)

What did you do to ring in the New Year? How is 2009 going to shape up for you? What's your favorite way to cook greens? :) Happy New Year and may we all have our bowls overflowing and our greens piled up in 2009!